CNY !

chinese new year is just around the corner. to all the rabbits out there, i pray all of us (of course including me !) to succeed in our lives, to prosper remarkably and become more fruitful each and every day. :D

forte.

i was walking out from the instrument workshop with my boss after a cold and result-less meeting yesterday when suddenly a man whom i should describe as old and selekeh based on my first glance came toward us and offered his hand for a shake.

i just smiled and assumed he's just another friend of my boss. as they talked then i saw his name tag. it was my SV for goodness sake and i did not realize it was him ! he became so thin and his skin is burnt due to the chemo he has to go through due to his cancer. and during that instance tears rolled down by my cheek.

he seemed so strong as if as nothing had ever happened to him. he tried to talk with all might as the cancer had literally taken away the loud voice he used to have. all i can said to him was: pak cik! mek x pasan ya kitak tek eh. sowie~. and he smiled back. i believe no one will ever recognize it's him if he ever pass by them. but he is still the same man who smile with his crooked teeth and fight real hard to live longer.

i pray for courage and strength to always be in you throughout this period of hardship. God's will, you will able to beat the cancer. God's will, everything will be painless for you. God's will, everything will be fine and you will have nothing to be worried about. God's will, you will gain back the pounds that you had lost. and by God's will, you will stay healthy and happy beside your loved ones.

kamek sayang kitak.

i never really fancy local music. but this song makes me wild. :D as a sarawakian, i'm so proud of him! (:

buttons.

i wish i have the fast-forward and reverse buttons in life. whenever i'm uncertain with my decisions i could simply press the fast-forward button and examine the results. if i'm not satisfied with it then this is where the reverse button plays it role. urgh how i wish~ ):

why do i care so much about life ? can i just live my life and not give a damn about things that can be a burden to the brain system ? i hate the past. a lot it can kill the my human senses. i wish i can have my reverse button right now and change the path the way it should be. experience ain't teaching me anything because i will never have enough of it. loving someone who refuse to be loved is a waste of time because they will never understand the feelings of being loved n loved.

p/s: dear you, i'm so sorry for everything. for everything that we've been through, the love you've shared, the continuous care, for always being there. i really do appreciate them. please do take care.

boiling soup.

i really hate this state i'm currently in right now. everything seems not right and i feel like crying. maybe i need to go to bed early tonight and have some rest. it's the PMS. hate!