worry.

mother worries a lot. she can worry about almost everything. from too noisy to too quiet. from the small stuff like alarm clock not ringing till the big stuff like kids' well-being in schools. so how does a mother cope with everything? Doing other thing while the mind is diverted to think of another thing?

these days I worried damn much. what if they fail to achieve their milestone and got left behind? what if they x manage to become what I want them to become? what if they refuse to become what I want them to become? what if what I've done so far is insufficient? what if I just fail miserably just because I lack the knowledge of becoming a good mother? what if I can't become a role model because I used to become who I used to be? what if they know too much already and I can't control what to be input into their mind? and what if  I simply not ready to become a mother?

I believe it's every mom wish to be a supermom. they can juggle everything with their two mighty hands and not sweat at all. they can go anywhere with their children and manage them well and not shouting at their children to behave in the store. they can bring the kids to the playground, cook dinner later and not feeling tire at all. they can go to bed as early as 12 midnight and wake up at 5 to prepare everything for the kids. off to work without feeling sleepy and come back and do the same routine all over again. weekends are full with activities to keep the kids occupy and house chores are never delayed. in short, they can do everything, taking care of everyone including themselves and never complain.

to mothers out there, don't you wish you can become like this? bold and strong and never complain! give me some time and i surely can become one! oh thank you deng for always being there w'pun kena kerepak, anok and diberik muka yg masam. heart!

iCloud best (part 2)

i almost forget to update on the outcome of the 'search and rescue' mission. yeah we got the phone back, but nah the phone is no longer usable (as of now) since the old simcard is of course being thrown away by the 'borrower'. since the phone was jailbreak (hm i still can't get the meaning of jailbreak and unlocking), the phone refused to work with the replacement simcard. so the iphone is now an ipod touch. an expensive one! according to the tech geek at home, we need to wait for updates to jailbreak the phone.(or is it the word unlock is more appropriate here?) as of the steward, nah we are not sure what action had been taken upon him. let's hope he had learned his lesson. duit duit bole dicari, tapi to be respected you need to work hard for it. til then. take care and bye.

Pokes!

It's been awhile since i last express myself here in this empty space bordered by the universe. Im trying to control my mind not to act more than the script wants me to. Old ppl often say the behaviour a child depending so much on how the mother behave when she's carrying the child in the womb. Thus make me a quiet, soft-spoken, cool, happy go lucky mother. But at times my tongue slipped and i talked nonsense which i later regret too much i wish nobody wants to talk to me so that tongue-slipping moment will never happen. The nonsense stuff is like oh we will get a 6month bonus because our area manager got profits from his sawit. (my area manager has sawit plantation as his side income, no i dont work in sawit industry - thus i labelled this stuff as nonsense). I dont want my child (a baby boy after scanning the tummy twice) to be such a (ermm is poyo the most suitable adjective in this case?) expressive person that he might hurt others' feelings through his words. Because words are sharper than the double edged sword. So dear random thoughts, pls dont come to my mind. I dont want my boy end up talking poyo with his friend. He might be funny, but no i just cant accept that. Bak kata laki aku, poyo macam mat sihat. Oh mat sihat is my father in law! Hahahah!

posted from Bloggeroid

Role model.

I'm that type of person who don't forget easily. especially when someone breaks my heart and my trust. they can wish me well with my life not knowing deep down the scar they left me with is beyond amendment. and I am that type of stubborn bitch who are willing to lose everything to win a thing. and the feeling of winning is like heaven slow to know what I've lose will soon make my heart broken, again. that's why forgiving someone seems to be so hard to be implemented in my daily life. I can talk about them 24/7 without realising by doing so I'm forcing my mind to keep on thinking about the pain instead of focusing on other things which can ease away the pain. Now, being a mother I want to be the best example for my child (or children coming soon!). instead of cursing when careless drivers who fail to put on their signal when making a turn, I want to be someone who think positive of them i.e. oh they must be like me who have baby shouting behind and somewhat forget to put on signal. I want to be a cool mother who don't complain much about daily life and just stay tough even when I'm literally drained off (this I must admit I deserve an F because I've complained so much, too much! uhuk!). I really salute my mom who is able to wake up early morning and be the last person to sleep to keep the house tidy and clean as possible. there is not once the plates were left overnight in the sink (unless the kutus malam come out cook supper for themselves). that is how strong and mighty is my mom. Going back to forgiving and forgetting, I really wanted that peace of mind where I can really really forgive and let go. sometimes deep down I 'curse' them not to have the happiness that they wanted to have since they had tried to take away mine. but this is no good and shame to me because I might just raise a kid who hold grudge against me, the parent, if somewhat I fail to be a good mother to them. oh this is so sad I must transform right away!! uh-oh! dear child/children, mama will never ever give up in becoming the best mom on earth. believe me and please, too, don't give up on me. love, Mama.

iCloud best (part 1)

today i'm going to post a photo of someone whom i not know, let alone meet with. this photo was taken from my husband's iCloud account and to our disappointment, his phone (which he lost it last 2 weeks) is currently at the hand of the steward who pretend to be looking hard for the phone when my husband came back to the flight to look for his phone which was not in his pocket. i remembered my husband told me that pramugara siap tertonggeng tonggeng cari fon tp x jumpa jgk. oh memanglah x jumpa klau ada yg sembunyikan, kan? nah this is his picture. muka handsome tp panjang tangan. apa hukum utk org yg ambik barang org lain wahai anak2? hmm. hopefully can meet this steward when we are on board to klia this coming august! will update more after this ok!