the new label - Baby.

of all the feelings i have right now, i choose sadness. i choose to let the tears roll down the cheek and the heart dwell in pain. maybe part of me feel relieve, and some of them are in unknown cause of disappointment. i'm not sure either.

be safe dear baby. i can't afford to lose you. not now, not in the future, not till forever. you will always be my baby and i'll love you so till the end of my days. can't wait to see you soon, watch you grow each day. now how can i let you get married and build your own masjid later? ): oh i love you...

scale.

i'm gaining weight. i know it's normal to gain weight especially when you are pregnant. and being fat at certain area makes you look even hotter! agree not? :p but looking at the scale scares me. when it hits 50ish kg i feel choke. and when it strikes 60ish kg i barely breathe. baby, when you are out for good, you are going to bring me for intense work-out. oh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you.

oh i still can't forget the feelings of being disappointed by my friend. T_T i really had tried to move on and forget about what had happened. sigh! of course i still care for you. hope you are doing great out there. hope that you don't cry yourself to sleep and not having terrible break-out when you are sad.

cloud nine.

i wish i can have everything that i wished for. who wouldn't want that aite?
right now, at this very moment, i wish i can fly up in the sky, and have the clouds all around me.

creeping.

i don't feel like talking to anyone right now. i feel like running and let the wind touches my skin and take away my anxiety. but i can't run like i used to run before. just can't afford losing him/her at this moment. i've started to love and make him/her apart of me right now. (:


dear you,

i love u tenderly. more than anyone else right now and i would move the moon for you if i could. if you are going to read this one day, in whatever condition or state we are (we might just had an argument regarding God-knows-what topic, we might be so far away from each other since your dad n i might send you to boarding school and have you wash your own clothes etc.) pls remember, you will always be part of me, and you will always be my reason to cherish this life even more.

love,
mama xoxo.

rain.

i love watching rain drops on the leaves when it rains. it makes me realize no matter how high we climb, gravity will still be there sucking us down. no, i'm not saying this negatively. but it's good not be too comfortable with where you are standing right? just a self-reminder by the way.

tonight i'll be alone. not that i'm not used to be alone, but tonight i'm so going to be alone.

p/s: wish u were here.

mommy!

when people talk about mother, the first thing that came across my mind is love. because mother is synonym to love. and a mother can never be a mother without love. everything a mother does for her children is because of love. and that love came from God which remains forever despite anything.

being away for about 200km from my mom is saddening. i miss her every now and then. came back from work with no food serve on the table make things even worse. oh the tears just cant stop falling. i wonder if mom feels the same way too since she enjoys cooking for the food-craver me, kan?

oh mummy!! happy mother's day to you! may God bless you always and give you the best state of health because that's what you need the most right now. thank you for everything mummy. i wish i can be as strong as you are, be as big-hearted as you are, be as cheerful as you are, cook as expert as you are, and stay calm in every situation as you are. can't wait to see you soon! (:

what are words?

special song sang by Chris Medina for his special someone. love and faith create miracles.