retrenchment.

Not a good topic to talk about, but I need to let it all out. Our company is currently not in a good base to maintain its people. Projects are going slow, a few of on-going project, but not enough to give everyone man-hour to charge to. Thus, the retrenchment. The sad part is even the permanent staffs are affected and the term, late-in-first-out is being used here as a basis of "letting go" its permanent staffs. So I have to be prepared mentally to receive any letter within next week, or maybe next next week.
My dad experienced the same thing when he was with Shell in 1990's. During economy downturn, the company have to retrench its contract staff in order to stand still. He fought to be maintained but to disappointment. It is usual for the company to retrench the contract staff first before the permanent staff. That's one of the biggest benefit of being a permanent staff despite the smaller salary compared to those contract staff.
So now the 'what-if' question starts to pop. What if I'm among them? They will be no income, no more online-shopping, no more money to provide to the parents, and we will have to cut down our expenses and ask for money from those who are borrowing money from us. Sigh..

Rain.

I really love it when it rains. Especially during this confinement period. When it rains, i feel less hot and i can sleep more soundly since the baby is enjoying the cold weather too. One thing i like the most when it rains is the smell of the road. I used to work at field before. Sometimes, it is enough just to smell the rain after a long hour working under the hot sun. It refreshes the mind, soul and body. And of course, if it rains, we can go back early and mengular. 

Can't wait to end this confinement. I want to be strong and healthy, because i believe a supermom can be produced!

with all its might.

let the battle begin.

p/s: i will always be here. do not fear. be good. i will love you. trust me.

note to self

this is the stage of life where you need to decide for your future. stop wasting time and get things moving. you will lose everything if you don't handle them carefully. so be bold and ignore those nonsense and self-destructing voices in your head.