i swear!

I seldom swear. For me, swearing is for those who is difficult to earn someone else's trust. It might because of their well-known breaking-promises habit, or maybe because the counter part is having issues to see promises being fulfilled.

And today, i swore..

Why do i swear? Simply because I want my counter part to know how serious I am in making that particular promise. I swear because it can help putting pressure on me to keep the promise I've made. I swear because I couldn't find other word to let her know how committed I am in keeping my promise. But I wonder if she could understand anything I've just said to her. I wonder after a day or two she could still remember what I told her when we were in the car heading to her nursery school.

I still think swearing is not good. When you promise, fulfill them. If you can't fulfill them, then don't promise. I used to be taught on how a person could use the word "Insya-Allah" as in exchange with the word "See 1st la". Somehow they become synonym that I came to believe "insya-Allah" simply means "I'll think about it". So whenever a person said "insya-Allah" , my hope would just flew away...

So, this is why I swore.

Contented.

Today i feel so contented. Perhaps it is true when they say mixing with positive ppl build a positive you. I feel so lucky to get to know some positive ppl. It makes me want to improve myself, improve my family, and most importantly to improve my relationship with The Almighty.

retrenchment.

Not a good topic to talk about, but I need to let it all out. Our company is currently not in a good base to maintain its people. Projects are going slow, a few of on-going project, but not enough to give everyone man-hour to charge to. Thus, the retrenchment. The sad part is even the permanent staffs are affected and the term, late-in-first-out is being used here as a basis of "letting go" its permanent staffs. So I have to be prepared mentally to receive any letter within next week, or maybe next next week.
My dad experienced the same thing when he was with Shell in 1990's. During economy downturn, the company have to retrench its contract staff in order to stand still. He fought to be maintained but to disappointment. It is usual for the company to retrench the contract staff first before the permanent staff. That's one of the biggest benefit of being a permanent staff despite the smaller salary compared to those contract staff.
So now the 'what-if' question starts to pop. What if I'm among them? They will be no income, no more online-shopping, no more money to provide to the parents, and we will have to cut down our expenses and ask for money from those who are borrowing money from us. Sigh..