I've made peace!

today, I would like to talk about grudge. I've been holding grudge against this person whom I shall not call a friend  because we never really become friends. I wont describe any longer about her because it would be very easy to guess. and I won't talk about what she had done to me which make me hated her so much because I've made the decision to forgive. what I want to talk about is holding this grudge and the impact to me.

the saying 'you'll grow old and sick when you hate someone' is very true. because anything that can trigger your memory about the person you hated so much will basically increase your blood pressure, then you become easily annoyed and angry. hence, when you are mad, your relationship with your partner will be jeopardized because you choose to quarrel with him to express your "dissatisfication".

how do I know? because this is what exactly I did. and I'm not happy at all with what I've done. whenever I had bad dreams with this person as one of the character in it I would woke up feeling moody and of course my husband yang kena tempias. I would forced him to tell me how much he love me because I feel so insecure. but it never succeed because I chose to doubt him instead of being convinced by him.

I know how hard it is to forgive someone when that someone wronged us. we are no saint to forgive so easy and move on. apatah lagi if you were betrayed by someone whom you thought will never ever betray you. ouch! but today, I choose to forgive and move on. because holding grudge is no easy job. and it brings no goodness at all! let bygones be bygones. we are all human so who's to judge them for their wrong-doings? so by forgiving I hope whenever something trigger my memory about this person I can smile and say to myself, I've forgiven this person and I'm happy now.

oh, when you believe you are beautiful and being loved by those whom you loved, this forgiving process will certainly can be done with no hassle at all. so let's us learn to forgive and let go all those grudge. to appreciate those who are around us instead of making them as punching bag.

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. - Harriet Nelson


A personal offense is like a scratch on a phonograph record. I couldn't move my thoughts beyond my pain. It kept repeating, as if I were stuck within its grooves. There was only one way to play beyond it. I had to forgive them, so my heart could take its form again. - Laurel Lee