my wedding.

this time i would to share about my wedding. no fancy stuff just the wajib stuff. hihi.

my wedding was the simpliest wedding i would say. there was no celebration and attended by a friend, my mom, my aunt and my lil bro. that was it. the akad nikah was held at JAIS bintulu office. but my mas kahwin was quite high to compensate the zero hantaran perhaps. there was no hantaran because it was not my parents' culture to ask for things in exchange for their daughter. and my dad was against it at that time. huhu. thank goodness my mom was there to make sure i went through all the brick walls. and it was not easy.
when tha day came, everything was smooth except for the lafazing part. both of our names were very hard to pronounce the juru nikah had to rehearse again and again to get our names right. but it was fun. with the wet palm, the nervousness, the wrong pronounciation of names where we had to go through the lafaz part 3 times if im not mistaken. we bought 2 set of secret recipe cakes all the way from miri in return of their favour. our wedding belanja is as below:
1. kain baju kurung n baju melayu (no fancy2)
2. secret recipe cake
3. air kotak
4. upah juru nikah and 3 witnesses
5. mas kahwin

that was it. simple right? the honeymoon part was even more fun ye! hoho..
ok i have nothing say oledi. til we meet again mate!

anger and disappointment.

can we just stone those rapist to death? and the mother, how could youuuu!!!

bullshit!

today will not be a good day. sigh.

pretty.

smiling to strangers can really make your day. especially when the strangers smile back instead of replying it with eh-do-i-know-this-beautiful-girl look. and today I smiled to a stranger and felt so good.

so smile, and the world will smile back to you. selamat hari kekasih.

I've made peace!

today, I would like to talk about grudge. I've been holding grudge against this person whom I shall not call a friend  because we never really become friends. I wont describe any longer about her because it would be very easy to guess. and I won't talk about what she had done to me which make me hated her so much because I've made the decision to forgive. what I want to talk about is holding this grudge and the impact to me.

the saying 'you'll grow old and sick when you hate someone' is very true. because anything that can trigger your memory about the person you hated so much will basically increase your blood pressure, then you become easily annoyed and angry. hence, when you are mad, your relationship with your partner will be jeopardized because you choose to quarrel with him to express your "dissatisfication".

how do I know? because this is what exactly I did. and I'm not happy at all with what I've done. whenever I had bad dreams with this person as one of the character in it I would woke up feeling moody and of course my husband yang kena tempias. I would forced him to tell me how much he love me because I feel so insecure. but it never succeed because I chose to doubt him instead of being convinced by him.

I know how hard it is to forgive someone when that someone wronged us. we are no saint to forgive so easy and move on. apatah lagi if you were betrayed by someone whom you thought will never ever betray you. ouch! but today, I choose to forgive and move on. because holding grudge is no easy job. and it brings no goodness at all! let bygones be bygones. we are all human so who's to judge them for their wrong-doings? so by forgiving I hope whenever something trigger my memory about this person I can smile and say to myself, I've forgiven this person and I'm happy now.

oh, when you believe you are beautiful and being loved by those whom you loved, this forgiving process will certainly can be done with no hassle at all. so let's us learn to forgive and let go all those grudge. to appreciate those who are around us instead of making them as punching bag.

Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself. - Harriet Nelson


A personal offense is like a scratch on a phonograph record. I couldn't move my thoughts beyond my pain. It kept repeating, as if I were stuck within its grooves. There was only one way to play beyond it. I had to forgive them, so my heart could take its form again. - Laurel Lee

boiling water.

these days I lost my temper so easily. even the sticky floor can trigger the rage. sigh. I guess I really need a break. or maybe a walk. I really miss running. because when I run, I feel relieve. I feel as if I still have the control over my body. to sacrifice your life for someone else's is not easy. it requires time, patient and most importantly, love. will you sacrifice your life for someone whom you not love? and I miss my me-time where I can read my book and not give a damn to anything else.