childhood memories.

when i was a kid, i used to hang out with my friends and play all sort of games. masak-masak, tikam selipar, kahwin putera puteri (i always become the puteri because of my two moles on my shoulder which symbolizes prettiness), jual nasi lemak, dolls, patung kertas (i loved this the most because i can design fancy dress for the naked patung kertas), lari pecut 1 lorong, baseball kampung and the list goes on. when i grew a lil bigger, i started to play basketball and acted like a tomboy. short hair, short pants with big T, dark skin and walked like a samseng 'kiak'. seriously! i even talked like one with lots of dirty words came out of the mouth. but that was back then.

i felt in 'love' with a samseng 'kiak' and i was pretty sure he felt the same way too. we talked on phone (not hp of course!) for hours but somehow our relationship did not went well because one of his friend apparently had a deep crush on me. oh screwed him! so that was back in 1999, after 1 year anniversary of my 1st menstrual period which marked my teenage hood.

i loved the feelings of being a kid, the innocent faces we had once, and the clean heart which feels instant guilt when we commit something wrong. as we grew bigger, the conscience is no longer crystal clear. we compromise with all sorts of sin and wrong-doings. what a pity right?

and i miss kissing my dad's cheek whenever he bought me presents. i miss cuddling in his arm. i miss going for picnic by the beach and go fishing with my dad. now that i've become a wife, i wonder if dad still sees me as his lil' daughter. the one who is spoil too much because of his love. i'm so sorry if i somehow had disappointed you dad. i'll try my best to take good care of myself and my family. you have nothing to worry because you had done everything a father would do for his daughter. everything so you don't have to blame yourself for anything. you are the image of the fatherly side of God. you might find it hard to express your feelings sometimes but deep down you love us bestest and widest. i just know that so you don't have to say a thing...